I travel the globe each day through YouTube. Not all day long mind you, just when I sit down to relax. A live webcam (or cam) on my TV screen gives me a gateway to another world. I become a person in the crowd.
My Florida mornings: At sunrise I go to the beach. My favorite live camera is at Deerfield Beach near Fort Lauderdale.
Last year I was hooked on the underwater cam beneath the pier. Mentally I put on scuba gear to swim with the sharks, eels, stingrays and occasional octopus. My favorite is the moony-eyed puffer fish. He swims up to kiss me, or so it seems.
This year I moved from diving cam to beach cam. In real life I’m not a beach person. I like to be in the water. On the beach cam I set up my beach umbrella, then swim out in the ocean. If the waves are up, I’ll surf.
I ask Alexa for Deerfield Beach weather and ocean temperature. When I see storms brewing, I use my weather app to see how much longer I can swim. As the storm approaches, I rush ashore, fold my umbrella and seek shelter under the pier.
My Thailand nights: At Huntington supper time, I switch channels to a favorite live cam on the beach at Koh Phangan, 12 time zones away. Now I inhabit the body of an Australian surfer dude.
It’s sunrise. The live cam streams from a restaurant. At a table in the sand, I sit for a bagel and coffee. (OK, you saw me drink four cups, nosey-parker. It’s my vacation. Quit counting my coffees.)
If the waves are over 3 feet, I’ll get my surfboard. Otherwise I swim. First I check weather. Holy cannoli it’s 27 degrees! Brrrrr. Whoops, my bad. That’s 27 degrees Celsius; 80 degrees Fahrenheit.
The beach is famous for its Full Moon Party. Last week I was there all night listening to techno-pop music. I danced with thousands until my legs gave out at 4 a.m. Then I sat on the sand to watch sunrise.
My grizzly summers: In the warmest part of the summer I spend day and night on the Brooks Falls, Alaska, live cam. I’m a bear. My grizzly friends and I catch salmon because that’s what we bears do.
There’s no nighttime at the peak of Alaska summer. When bears come out of hibernation, we’re hungry. Our goal is to eat 18 hours a day and double our size. Then we waddle back to caves with enough extra fat to see us through winter.
My fishing pal is Otis, an internet star who’s the oldest, biggest and fattest (much like me). I must eat more salmon to reach 1,000 pound Otis-level fatness.
I’m working at it. If I get myself well-positioned atop the small waterfall, the salmon leap right into my mouth or open paws. I eat four per hour, which means more fat for me. Sorry, Otis, but only the strong survive.
Why not live cams all over Huntington? It would cut crime and entertain old guys like me. With a 4th Avenue camera, I can stay up until 2 a.m. to see me inhabit the body of a tipsy guy staggering out of a bar. Is that entertainment or what?